People matter. If we intend to go far in life, we can’t go it alone. Are you able to take risks, pursue opportunities and achieve more because of the people in your life? That has absolutely been true for me. Without my family, friends, colleagues and especially my wife…well, you wouldn’t be reading this. I am able to accomplish my goals and pursue my potential thanks to the relationships I have. Hopefully the same is true for you. But, one thing I’ve learned is that thriving relationships don’t come easy.
Overnight backpacking trips (complete with campfires and s’mores) are adventures that my wife, Laura, and I really enjoy. During these excursions, I’ve learned that building a roaring campfire takes work. It isn’t as easy as tossing a lit match onto a jumble of twigs. I’ve come to appreciate the art of fine fire building. Sitting by a warm campfire on a recent trip in middle Tennessee, I was struck by an insight into one of nature’s teachable moments. Relationships are a lot like campfires.
As we prepared, stoked and enjoyed the blaze that night, I soaked in the connection to relationships, such as your marriage, family, close friends. These are the people who have an influence in your life. Here is what stuck with me.
Here are 4 lessons from nature’s classroom that we can apply to nurture relationships that thrive.
1. The Secret Is In The Kindling
When building a fire you have to choose your kindling, the little things that get the fire started. These are often delicate materials like small fibers or twigs. In relationships, its is the little choices we make that lay the foundation – the kindling. A kind word, encouragement, a smile or doing the small things to make someone else’s day just a bit easier. Like kindling for a fire, you don’t need a lot. However, quality is key. In relationships, a half-hearted salutation just doesn’t make the cut. Pay attention to the kindling and do the little things to nurture your relationships.
2. Patience And Persistence Are Required
Building a roaring fire takes time, effort and patience. You can’t just have a spark and within seconds a full-on blaze that will melt your boots. In relationships, it takes time to get to know each other. Like layering on the logs and oxygenating the flame, a relationship grows with each conversation. Sometimes, I put a log in the wrong spot much like misunderstandings happen in relationships. For them to grow and thrive, relationships require patience and persistence.
3. Fuel The Fire Or It Goes Out
Once I got distracted working on dinner after a campfire was going strong. Before I knew it, the initial flame was nearly gone. I hadn’t continued to fuel it with kindling, wood and good air flow. I’ve also gotten distracted by work, to-dos and life and neglected some relationships. None of us wants to look up one day and realize that important relationships have been extinguished because we neglected them. In order to thrive, relationships need fuel and attention too. It’s important to stay in touch.
4. Gets Better With Age
Now for the best part. Once a fire matures and settles down a bit it becomes perfect for roasting marshmallows for s’mores. Recently, I’ve learned this is an American phenomenon. Anyhow, I also love how relationships become more intimate and deeper as they age. We recently moved across the country and hope to be building thriving relationships in our new town. But it is wonderful to see and talk with people with whom we’ve been applying these truths for a while. There’s a comfort, familiarity and satisfaction to them that just comes with time and effort. Just like the delicious, emotional experience of biting in to a fresh roasted s’more… Well, you get the idea.
The bottom line is that we all need meaningful relationships in our lives. It buffers us from many negatives, like depression, while also supporting us to do great things. I know I’m stronger and have accomplished more in life because of other people. Many clients I talk with say the same. In order to build, keep and grow relationships that thrive, we must act on these 4 lessons from nature.
Question: How do you put one of these lessons into action in your relationships? I’d love to hear what is working for you. Please share your insights in the comments section below.