One of the first evaluations made of an athlete is whether or not he or she is coachable. Many coaches will select a less talented player who is coachable over a more talented player who isn’t coachable. What is it that prevents an athlete from being coachable in the first place?

A fragile mindset

Like many coaches, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of coaching seemingly un-coachable athletes. It is a frustrating experience. One tennis player stands out in my mind. He was talented, but he was a bit of a head case. Watching his matches was often like riding a roller coaster. His emotions rose and fell with each point won or error made.

As his mental coach, I asked a lot of questions and observed his reactions in practice and in competition. It became evident that his outward confidence was mostly bravado. He clung to the identity of being a good tennis player. Yet, it was as if each point either confirmed or denied the validity of this claim. A mistake proved he was inadequate. A winner validated what he so desperately wanted to be true: I’m a good player.

A fixed mindset

Based on the work of Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindsets: A New Psychology of Success, I’d characterize the above athlete as having a fixed mindset. He believed that his tennis abilities were set. He had to make do with the hand he’d been dealt. Every instance proved or disproved whether or not those abilities were good enough.

Athletes in a fixed mindset don’t value effort, believe hard work is less valuable than talent and become intimidated by the success of others. To be clear, this doesn’t mean they can’t be successful players. So long as their abilities match the demands placed on them, they’ll often do very well.

However, when they face real challenges, their fixed mindsets cause them to cover up insecurities. They are likely to back out, self-sabatague or give less than their best effort to provide a convenient excuse when they don’t come out on top.

In a fixed mindset, an athlete’s motivation comes from upholding the image that he or she is skilled. Anything or anyone who is perceived as questioning that image is viewed as a threat. Threats infringe on their egos. Thus, athletes in a fixed mindset act defensive.

Why it’s tough to coach a fixed mindset

If a player believes his or her sport specific ability can’t change, then it makes sense why he or she would:

Consequently, players in a fixed mindset never reach their potentials.

If they don’t think they can improve, then why work hard and be receptive to a coach’s feedback? It is easy to see how a coach (or parent) could get frustrated by an athlete in a fixed mindset.

So, is that it? Is there nothing a coach can do to help an athlete in a fixed mindset become more coachable? In fact, there are at least two things you can do.

Foster a Growth Mindset in Your Athletes

By highlighting two specific aspects of a player’s performance, you can help foster a growth mindset – one in which players are highly coachable.

An example might sound like, “Look at all the time you’ve put in at the free throw line in practice. Based on your free throw percentage moving up to 85%, I’d say that hard work is paying off.”

An example might sound like, “Great job reading the different defensive looks that team threw at you. Throughout the season your decision making at the line has really improved.”

Highlighting a player’s effort & development helps them break away from a fixed mindset.
Click To Tweet

Free Download

To help you influence your athletes toward a growth mindset, I developed this free action guide with 10 things coaches can start doing today.

As a coach, you’ve seen players in a fixed mindset countless times before. They rely on talent and don’t like to get outside their comfort zones. But this mindset stifles their true potentials.

By highlighting their effort and development, you can encourage them to challenge their beliefs. Before long the evidence will be undeniable that indeed hard work does pay off and they can improve. Now, that’s coachable.

Question: What frustrates you most about a player who isn’t coachable? Leave your comment in the section below this post. 

• Book: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck 
• Post: Why Is A Growth Mindset Required To Reach Your Potential?

The post How To Reach Athletes Who Are Not Coachable first appeared on The Excelling Edge.

When I was a kid I hated chores. My parents asked me to do all sorts of things I detested: eat my vegetables, clean my room, come inside before dark. I simply didn’t understand. Later, I came to learn that each direction was backed by a wisdom-laden rationale. Once I understood (and agreed with) my parent’s rationale, I stopped asking, “Why?” at every instance. How does this relate to how you lead your team?

An innate desire to understand

No one likes to hear the phrase, “Because I said so.” Something in us finds it hard to blindly follow orders. Often we resent the one who made the command. This is because we seek to clarify and to understand why we do what we do.

I’m reminded of a story I’ve heard multiple times, told by Zig Ziglar in See You at the Top. A wife is in the kitchen cooking the Christmas ham. As her husband walks in she is cutting the end off the ham. Being curious, he asked her why she did that. In her honesty, she explained, “I cut off the end of the ham because that’s how her mother always did it.” The husband says, “she’s in the other room, let’s ask her why.” The mother-in-law relays to the husband that she cut off the ends of the ham because her mother always cut off the ends of the ham.”

Wanting to get to the bottom of this three generation mystery, the husband calls grandma. On the phone, “Grandma, why did you always cut off the ends of the ham before cooking it?” Grandma replied, “I cut off the ends of the ham because my roasting pan was too small.”

Mystery solved. There was no magic to it at all. Good ham went unenjoyed for years simply because the chefs were missing the rationale.

Why leaders should explain why

Leaders often find explaining themselves an unnecessary hassle. They can become frustrated when others question their positions or decisions.

However, leaders who regularly provide their team members with the rationale that led them to a given conclusion encounter less resistance. Why is that?

In fact, leaders who provide rationales find that, when they do, their teams are more motivated to carry out their individual roles to accomplish the task or project. How does explaining your rationale do that?

Here are 3 reasons sharing your rationale (your why) with your team boosts their motivation.

When team members know why things are done a certain way they are compelled to follow your lead. When employees simply comply, it’s often because they lack rationale. They are just being told what to do.

Daniel Pink, author of Drive, wrote that without a stated rationale team members will do one of two things: 1) comply or 2) defy. The first inhibits employee engagement; the second, undermines authority. Neither is a desirable quality great leaders aim for.

Motivate your team by providing purpose through rationale. Answer why question before they ever ask.
Click To Tweet

We all want to know that our jobs or contributions are making a difference. Abraham Maslow titled this our need for transcendence – contributing to the betterment of our fellow man.

Imagine if an automotive assembly line worker in Henry Ford’s car manufacturing plant was told to rivet two rectangular sheets of metal together. Day after day, she did this. The two sheets of metal moved to her station on a conveyor belt for hours a day to be riveted together. Monotonous. Tedious. Pointless. Putting food on her family’s table was all that kept her showing up each morning.

However, would it change her perspective to learn that her riveting helped create the fire plate in the early automobile? This fire plate protected drivers and their passengers in case of an accident and further injury should the engine ignite. Might this bit of information alter her attitude?

Providing rationale helps your team see the difference they are making in the world.
Click To Tweet

When leaders explain their purpose and intent, team members have the opportunity to align themselves with that purpose. This is often the intent behind company mission statements. A company hopes for and encourages their employees to take personal ownership and embrace their role in carrying out the mission.

When team members identify with the stated purpose of a task or project, the individual is supplying his or her own motivation. This is called autonomous motivation (Deci & Ryan, 2000).

Leaders who tap into employees autonomous motivation reap rewards in morale & productivity.
Click To Tweet

Keeping team members perpetually motivated is one of the biggest challenges leaders face. One way to do so is by consistently sharing your rationale. Leaders who communicate why they make decisions, prioritize projects or why a task is critical to overall success ignite ownership and a sense of purpose in their team.

Question: Ever had a leader leave you in the dark and not share his or her rationale? How did that affect your attitude, effort and motivation? Share your story the comments below.

Links:

• Book: See You at the Top by Zig Ziglar
• Book: Drive by Daniel Pink

The post Why: 3 Reasons Successful Leaders Share Their Rationale first appeared on The Excelling Edge.

Why is effective communication essential for team success? Communication builds empathy and understanding and gets people on the same page. Effective communication breeds synchronization, an alignment of purpose and effort. Highly effective teams, regardless of context, thrive because team members are synchronized with one another.

Synchronization in a Kayak

Some say that putting a married couple in a tandem kayak is risking their marriage. My wife and I have tested this theory on several occasions. It’s been a great exercise in communication.

There are 3 actions I found tremendously helpful in our tandem kayaking adventures:

1. Stating a clear and specific goal (that we both understood) such as where we were going.

2. Awareness of each other’s efforts. If we both paddled on the left side, we’d turn in circles.

3. Allowing for open and nonjudgmental feedback.

When these 3 actions took place before we began paddling, we got to our destination. When they didn’t, we were ineffective, zig zagging across the water. Or, we made small and unnecessarily tiring progress, countering each other’s effort.

What Synchronized Teams Have That Others Don’t 

The same actions apply to building successful teams. When teams apply the three actions above to become more synchronized, 3 specific benefits drive them toward success.

1. Efficiency: When team members understand the clear and specific goal of the team, they are on the same page. When they are on the same page, they waste less time, energy and effort. Each action smoothly moves the entire team closer to its stated goal.

2. Effectiveness: When team members are aware of other’s efforts, they reduce redundancy and maximize forward progress. Effectiveness is all about getting results. When teams are synchronized they become highly effective at achieving their given objectives.

3. Momentum: When team members are synchronized, they exhibit Newton’s First Law of Motion. Put simply, it says that objects in motion remain in motion. Open feedback allows for minor course corrections along the way. When that feedback is welcomed and helpful, it moves the team forward, building upon previous successes.

Synchronized teams gain efficiency, effectiveness & momentum which drives results.
Click To Tweet

Whether in business, sports, family or just paddling a tandem kayak, synchronization drives results. Effective communication and being aware of what others are doing are essential components to get in sync. When you establish clear goals, work together and build momentum through quality feedback, you greatly increase your chances of reaching your destination. Synchronized teams go further faster than their competition. Not convinced? Maybe it’s time to grab a paddle.

Question: What else does synchronization do for your team? Share your thoughts below the post. I’d love to hear from you.

The post 3 Ways Synchronization Drives Results first appeared on The Excelling Edge.

People matter. If we intend to go far in life, we can’t go it alone. Are you able to take risks, pursue opportunities and achieve more because of the people in your life? That has absolutely been true for me. Without my family, friends, colleagues and especially my wife…well, you wouldn’t be reading this. I am able to accomplish my goals and pursue my potential thanks to the relationships I have. Hopefully the same is true for you. But, one thing I’ve learned is that thriving relationships don’t come easy.

Overnight backpacking trips (complete with campfires and s’mores) are adventures that my wife, Laura, and I really enjoy. During these excursions, I’ve learned that building a roaring campfire takes work. It isn’t as easy as tossing a lit match onto a jumble of twigs. I’ve come to appreciate the art of fine fire building. Sitting by a warm campfire on a recent trip in middle Tennessee, I was struck by an insight into one of nature’s teachable moments. Relationships are a lot like campfires.

As we prepared, stoked and enjoyed the blaze that night, I soaked in the connection to relationships, such as your marriage, family, close friends. These are the people who have an influence in your life. Here is what stuck with me.

Here are 4 lessons from nature’s classroom that we can apply to nurture relationships that thrive.

1. The Secret Is In The Kindling
When building a fire you have to choose your kindling, the little things that get the fire started. These are often delicate materials like small fibers or twigs. In relationships, its is the little choices we make that lay the foundation – the kindling. A kind word, encouragement, a smile or doing the small things to make someone else’s day just a bit easier. Like kindling for a fire, you don’t need a lot. However, quality is key. In relationships, a half-hearted salutation just doesn’t make the cut. Pay attention to the kindling and do the little things to nurture your relationships.

2. Patience And Persistence Are Required
Building a roaring fire takes time, effort and patience. You can’t just have a spark and within seconds a full-on blaze that will melt your boots. In relationships, it takes time to get to know each other. Like layering on the logs and oxygenating the flame, a relationship grows with each conversation. Sometimes, I put a log in the wrong spot much like misunderstandings happen in relationships. For them to grow and thrive, relationships require patience and persistence.

3. Fuel The Fire Or It Goes Out
Once I got distracted working on dinner after a campfire was going strong. Before I knew it, the initial flame was nearly gone. I hadn’t continued to fuel it with kindling, wood and good air flow. I’ve also gotten distracted by work, to-dos and life and neglected some relationships. None of us wants to look up one day and realize that important relationships have been extinguished because we neglected them. In order to thrive, relationships need fuel and attention too. It’s important to stay in touch.

4. Gets Better With Age
Now for the best part. Once a fire matures and settles down a bit it becomes perfect for roasting marshmallows for s’mores. Recently, I’ve learned this is an American phenomenon. Anyhow, I also love how relationships become more intimate and deeper as they age. We recently moved across the country and hope to be building thriving relationships in our new town. But it is wonderful to see and talk with people with whom we’ve been applying these truths for a while. There’s a comfort, familiarity and satisfaction to them that just comes with time and effort. Just like the delicious, emotional experience of biting in to a fresh roasted s’more… Well, you get the idea.

The bottom line is that we all need meaningful relationships in our lives. It buffers us from many negatives, like depression, while also supporting us to do great things. I know I’m stronger and have accomplished more in life because of other people. Many clients I talk with say the same. In order to build, keep and grow relationships that thrive, we must act on these 4 lessons from nature.

Question: How do you put one of these lessons into action in your relationships? I’d love to hear what is working for you. Please share your insights in the comments section below.

The post 4 Lessons To Kindle Relationships That Thrive first appeared on The Excelling Edge.

The post “Good Job” Isn’t Good Enough: What It Means to Praise the Process first appeared on The Excelling Edge.

 

The post How The Practice of ACR Can Help You Build Stronger Relationships And Teams first appeared on The Excelling Edge.