I hate when I fail to achieve my goals. Don’t you? We often start a new year with new goals, feeling energized and hopeful. Then, by February, we’re into our old rhythms, overcome by busyness and left with little time to focus on the goals that seemed so important a month ago. Why do we lose focus? More importantly, how can we keep that from happening again?
As we move toward the end of the year, it seems natural to both look back and look ahead. Perhaps the holidays cause us to reflect. Possible New Year’s resolutions may be swimming through your mind. What will the next year hold for you, your family and your career? What will you make of it?
Some of us get excited about the possibilities. We enjoy plotting the course and look forward to setting our sights on new heights. We are eager to set and pursue our goals. Others may be a bit more apprehensive. Hopefully, you’ll decide the journey is worth the risks.
Your sweet spot is “where your greatest strength and your greatest passion intersect,” according to Ken Coleman, host of the EntreLeadership Podcast and author of One Question. I love the depiction Ken paints of finding our sweet spots in life – the elusive grail so many of us long for.
When we aren’t operating from our sweet spots, we can end up frustrated and miserable. We’re frustrated when our enthusiasm doesn’t match our abilities. It’s like when I first learned to play tennis. I was awful because I didn’t have the skills to be good at it.
“The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work,” said famed football coach Vince Lombardi. “Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay the price.” I talk with a lot of people who want to achieve more, be better leaders and perform at a higher level. However, wanting to be better and more successful doesn’t make it happen. The question we must answer is, are we willing to pay the price?
In their 2011 annual Stress in America Survey, the American Psychological Association (APA) reported that American’s main obstacle to their ability to make healthy lifestyle choices and positive change in their lives is a lack of willpower. Often linked with self-control or discipline, the APA defines willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In our culture of microwaves, fast food and next day shipping, it’s no surprise that many see willpower as a challenge. With the Center for Disease Control and Prevention classifying 1/3 of U.S. adults as obese, I think it is clear that we’re suffering from a willpower epidemic.
Fall is setting in here in Middle Tennessee, and leaves have started changing. This is one of my favorite times of year to hike. My wife and I were out for a hike not long ago, and along the trail we spotted a pair of squirrels chasing each other from tree to tree. They’d run up and around one tree like a corkscrew, spiral back down and leap to another. Watching them play together was a joy. It reminded me how easy it can be to forget to play.
“I don’t think anyone aims to be typical, really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or college not to be typical,” writes Bob Goff in Loves Does. The truth is, despite their vows, many people find themselves living typical lives because doing so doesn’t take intentionality. If you’re looking for something more; if you’re daring to excel, to make a difference in the world, and truly thrive – read on.
A good friend of mine is searching for her passion. She’s already accomplished a good deal in her life and has many interests. How could it be that she hasn’t found, or somehow lost, her passion? Many of us find ourselves in the same boat, searching for something more, something deeper, something with meaning to pour ourselves into. Some people don’t like their jobs. Others are in a season of transition in life.
When it comes to searching for our passions, where do we look? What are we looking for? Sometimes we feel like we’re playing the kids’ game Hot and Cold. How do we escape the game and know when we’re moving in the right directions? Allow me to share some of what I’ve learned about this journey with you.
I’ve said before that optimism can be your secret weapon. It’s definitely a secret weapon for me. When trying out for the all-star team in little league baseball, I thought I had as good a shot as anyone. When I applied to graduate school, I knew I would have to convince them to take a risk, but why wouldn’t they? When applying for a highly competitive new job, surely I’d have a shot. Some may have doubted, thought I wouldn’t come out on top in these situations. But I did.
A dear friend of ours is battling cancer, as many seem to be these days. She made it through a particularly rough round of treatment with more to endure in the months ahead. She felt relieved but run down and the outlook of more treatment was less than appealing. She didn’t see much to celebrate.
While we continue to support her, I found myself wanting to stir a celebration. Celebrate the progress she’s made, the manner in which she faces the battle and mark the challenges that are now behind her. As I thought more about her situation, I discovered there is strength in celebration that we can all benefit from.