“I don’t think anyone aims to be typical, really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or college not to be typical,” writes Bob Goff in Loves Does. The truth is, despite their vows, many people find themselves living typical lives because doing so doesn’t take intentionality. If you’re looking for something more; if you’re daring to excel, to make a difference in the world, and truly thrive – read on.
A good friend of mine is searching for her passion. She’s already accomplished a good deal in her life and has many interests. How could it be that she hasn’t found, or somehow lost, her passion? Many of us find ourselves in the same boat, searching for something more, something deeper, something with meaning to pour ourselves into. Some people don’t like their jobs. Others are in a season of transition in life.
When it comes to searching for our passions, where do we look? What are we looking for? Sometimes we feel like we’re playing the kids’ game Hot and Cold. How do we escape the game and know when we’re moving in the right directions? Allow me to share some of what I’ve learned about this journey with you.
I’ve said before that optimism can be your secret weapon. It’s definitely a secret weapon for me. When trying out for the all-star team in little league baseball, I thought I had as good a shot as anyone. When I applied to graduate school, I knew I would have to convince them to take a risk, but why wouldn’t they? When applying for a highly competitive new job, surely I’d have a shot. Some may have doubted, thought I wouldn’t come out on top in these situations. But I did.
A dear friend of ours is battling cancer, as many seem to be these days. She made it through a particularly rough round of treatment with more to endure in the months ahead. She felt relieved but run down and the outlook of more treatment was less than appealing. She didn’t see much to celebrate.
While we continue to support her, I found myself wanting to stir a celebration. Celebrate the progress she’s made, the manner in which she faces the battle and mark the challenges that are now behind her. As I thought more about her situation, I discovered there is strength in celebration that we can all benefit from.
In his inspiring book, Quitter, Jon Acuff discusses an observation he’s made. Jon has talked with many people who say things like, “I’m a teacher, but I really want to paint.” He identified a trend in people who aren’t following their dreams. Many say, “I am a ____, but I really want to ____.” They feel stuck, scared, or don’t know how to chase their dreams. They continue showing up to work, miserable, unengaged, longing for something to change.
I have a confession to make: sometimes I don’t feel like doing the things that need to get done. Maybe I’m alone in this, but my hunch is that some of you fight the same battles I do.
Most often when this happens to me, I feel drained, like my energy is waning. This is one reason we see a lot of energy boosting substances out there (5-hour Energy, Monster, Cliff Energy Bloks, etc.). I’m not opposed to some of these; however, I don’t want to depend on them to meet life’s demands. The truth is that some of us struggle to find the energy we need to do what needs doing.
Stress abounds in today’s culture. We think it’s normal. For people who seem constantly stressed, we don’t know how to regulate it very well. Author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, Dr. Robert Sapolsky, suggests people today are constantly activating their fight or flight (i.e. stress) response. This is why both performance and health suffer.
When someone messes up at work, we don’t say, “Wow, you’re incompetent!” Most of us ascribe to the idea that criticizing the behavior and not the person lends better results. That’s true. Therefore, it shouldn’t be surprising that applying the same feedback approach to success also lends the best results. Why do we say things like, “great job;” “you’re the next Lebron James;” “you have a gift for selling;” and so on?
Why is that some people strive to reach their potentials and others don’t? Why do some of us seek out challenges and others shy away? Why do some of us accept feedback more readily than others? Why are some people primarily motivated by recognition and others by learning? All of this, and much more, can be tied to our mindsets.
Why aren’t more people optimistic? Optimism may be the ticket to being happier, healthier and more successful. Who doesn’t want that?
Honestly, optimism often gets a bad rap. Many people see optimism as looking at the glass half full or seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. That’s not necessarily the case.